How can I keep from singing?
Jul. 14th, 2003 11:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
birdspiritlandThings are going so swimmingly today! I had a positively kick-ass weekend at Country Fair (except for sore feet from walking on the Gravel of Despair a lot). I must be in at least 10 different peoples' photo albums for the shaman costume alone! Don Quixote and Sancho went well too; we spent a good part of the day in character, bantering back and forth about the strange new land that we had both entered. I found the deer cape that I was looking for, had the most scrumptious cheesecake in the world, got CDs by Holly Near and Circus Contraption, and a tape by Faith Petric. I am a happy person indeed.
Something strange happened with regards to the deer cape. I bought it at a taxidermy booth, sewed up the back, and slit the front to make it into a headdress. When I wore it back the next day in its modified form, I decided to stop by the booth where I bought it to show the booth's owners. The woman was there, but the men weren't. Now, just to set this up for you, pretty much everyone that I met thought that the outfit was very cool, but didn't quite know what it was. This woman, in her 40's or 50's, did. She asked me how old I was; when I told her that I was 22, she told me that it was so nice to see "someone so young who knows who they are". She said that she was a shaman, and recognized the intent behind the outfit.
My second thought is on Circus Contraption and another group that we saw, Vagabond Opera. I have a difficult time putting in words why I am so mesmerized by them, but it's the same feeling that I get from Ray Bradbury, Edward Gorey, and the Addams Family. It's so close to my soul that I can't describe it. I feel at home with them in all their wonderful strangeness and weird antiqueness.
Now, both of these tie in with my general mood right now. The taxidermist was right--I know who I am. I have a strong feel for where my soul lies, and what fulfills it. I know the medicine for melancholy, and it is enchantments. Dark ones, old ones, as ancient as the cave paintings at Lasceaux. I feel it in my bones.
And I know, now more intensely than usual, that I have found the person who makes my soul sing. My beloved is so me, I have a hard time comprehending the entirety of him and, furthermore, my love for him. It is too deep, it goes to the very marrow of me. I dance when I am with him, and am very still within after we've made love. I can be a woman and look at him, thinking, this is someone who loves me, protects me, and is gloriously male. I can also be a man and look at him, thinking, this is my fair one, one for whom I would risk much, one whose hair is soft as I cradle her in my arms just to have her close. His beauty never ceases to astound me, and I still find myself crying happily over the sheer loveliness of him when he's beside me and asleep in our bed. As much as we are very ordinary and argue and are upset with one another, we are extraordinary.
He is my shining one, the one who has sought and knows the wolf within himself. He makes me want to purr and shout and dance with the trees and roar with the mountains. He makes me want to crawl into the soft circle of his arms and lay my head against his breast.
He is my home, where I belong. He is my beloved.
Something strange happened with regards to the deer cape. I bought it at a taxidermy booth, sewed up the back, and slit the front to make it into a headdress. When I wore it back the next day in its modified form, I decided to stop by the booth where I bought it to show the booth's owners. The woman was there, but the men weren't. Now, just to set this up for you, pretty much everyone that I met thought that the outfit was very cool, but didn't quite know what it was. This woman, in her 40's or 50's, did. She asked me how old I was; when I told her that I was 22, she told me that it was so nice to see "someone so young who knows who they are". She said that she was a shaman, and recognized the intent behind the outfit.
My second thought is on Circus Contraption and another group that we saw, Vagabond Opera. I have a difficult time putting in words why I am so mesmerized by them, but it's the same feeling that I get from Ray Bradbury, Edward Gorey, and the Addams Family. It's so close to my soul that I can't describe it. I feel at home with them in all their wonderful strangeness and weird antiqueness.
Now, both of these tie in with my general mood right now. The taxidermist was right--I know who I am. I have a strong feel for where my soul lies, and what fulfills it. I know the medicine for melancholy, and it is enchantments. Dark ones, old ones, as ancient as the cave paintings at Lasceaux. I feel it in my bones.
And I know, now more intensely than usual, that I have found the person who makes my soul sing. My beloved is so me, I have a hard time comprehending the entirety of him and, furthermore, my love for him. It is too deep, it goes to the very marrow of me. I dance when I am with him, and am very still within after we've made love. I can be a woman and look at him, thinking, this is someone who loves me, protects me, and is gloriously male. I can also be a man and look at him, thinking, this is my fair one, one for whom I would risk much, one whose hair is soft as I cradle her in my arms just to have her close. His beauty never ceases to astound me, and I still find myself crying happily over the sheer loveliness of him when he's beside me and asleep in our bed. As much as we are very ordinary and argue and are upset with one another, we are extraordinary.
He is my shining one, the one who has sought and knows the wolf within himself. He makes me want to purr and shout and dance with the trees and roar with the mountains. He makes me want to crawl into the soft circle of his arms and lay my head against his breast.
He is my home, where I belong. He is my beloved.
